By Dianira Piceno
The most annoying thing about “womanhood” is the p-word. No not periods and no not the slang p-word… It’s puberty.
At the ripe age of 10, I remember having to sit through health education classes and having to learn that my body was going to change either pretty soon or sometime in my adolescence. The teachers would say “girls, you are going to have to wear a bra as soon as your chest starts to develop little bumps.” It’s like a thing all girls anticipated. We are all desperately awaiting for our “bumps” to come in– legend says, some of us are still waiting.
I never understood the whole stigma around breasts and the emphasis on them. It seems like that’s all my health education prepared me for… having breasts and the ability to carry a child. I was only ever excited for one thing and that was the idea of having breasts. I would always think to myself “oh, if I had boobs, I could fill in those cute v-neck t-shirts” or “If I had boobs, I could finally get rid of these training bras” or even “boys will like me more if I had boobs.” I was excited to get some!
I waited patiently every year for my flowers to blossom, but they never did. Middle school was over and I still had nothing. High school came around and I had nothing, but all my friends did. They had cute natural chests, while I had a sock-stuffed protruding chest (I was desperate, ok?). I could never understand why everyone else had boobs and I didn’t? Internally, it felt like time was ticking because I was almost at the age where puberty would stop and that meant that I had a short amount of time to miraculously grow a pair.
From oils, to chest workouts, and an occasion prayer for boobies… a harsh reality hit. Some of us will never get breasts, it just won’t happen. How come no one ever told me? I spent almost my entire adolescence anxiously waiting for big melons or petite peaches and all I got was a set of sugar plums that were half eaten.
It used to bother me that I would never be able to have what other women have. I think I used to make myself cry over my own body because I convinced myself that I would never be “woman enough” without breasts. As I reflect on how silly I was for crying over breasts, I’m sure that there are plenty of women who are insecure about their breasts and that makes me feel, well, a little better. There are a lot of us who don’t have what other women have and that’s what makes the female body so unique.
Although I’ve accepted the fate of my breasts, I am continuously disappointed at the false narrative that at some point in a young woman’s life they will “get breasts.” I’m sure there are many women out there who have believed this lie and are probably waiting to this day for breasts. I’m sorry ladies, you might never get them… unless you buy some.
Dianira Piceno is a writer, an educator, and currently serves as a Public relations assistant for Visions of Possibilities. She best describes her work as humorous, honest, and reflective. As a young Latinx woman, Dianira aims to advocate and empower women to live authentically and lovingly.
Visions of Possibilities is a 501(c)(3) non-profit edutainment organization that produces projects and performances that challenge audiences to live lives of unlimited possibility. The organization is currently putting on a Breastival! For more information, visit Visionsofpossibilities.org
